this site is crappy. whatever.

here's what's new:

  • I LIVE IN DETROIT. i'll never leave again. here i can byob everywhere, there are outdoor bonfire parties downtown, and i've heard that detroit proper holds the record for number of cats extracted from a single home (274 -- saw it on animal planet).
  • i love house music.
  • most importantly, blue man group is no joke.

    here are the good jokes in the midwest right now:

    Q what's the difference between jesus and a mexican?
    A jesus would never get a tattoo of a mexican.

    Q what's the best part about having sex with 28 yr olds?
    A there's 20 of them.

    here is what needs to be said about ENIS, our housecat:

  • he knocks any glass containing water off of tables on purpose
  • he tried to push my roommate sam to his death last summer while sam was halfway out of the window holding onto the window AC unit BY THE CORD.
  • one day he bled all over the yellow couch during a nap.

    "I ate at Taco Bell, but I didn't drink PEPSI!"
    helpful gang signs

    STILL >> 20 QUESTIONS

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